The Recovering Perfectionist Diaries

My inner perfectionist reared her head this week. These were some of the things she said to me:
 
“Nobody is ever going to buy that. It’s not good enough.”
“You should be able to get it together.”
“You sound like a jerk when you say that.”
“I can’t believe you are struggling with this.
“I thought you figured this out already.”
“Seriously…again with this?”
“You should be ashamed of yourself.”
“How embarrassing.”
 
My inner perfectionist even had the nerve to tell me I should know better than to act like a perfectionist!
 
Here’s the thing about being a recovering perfectionist – I am always growing, learning, evolving, and changing. The process itself is not and will never be perfect, no matter how much I want it to be. There will always be another layer to peel back. Another revelation of how I can be more authentic and honor myself even more.
 
As hard as these lessons are, I have learned to welcome them in even though my inner perfectionist has a VERY big problem with that. I have learned to say to her, “I hear you, and I know you mean well, but this is exactly what I need right now. Trust me. I’ve got this.”
 
Life if messy and unpredictable. It is not our job to fix everything and put it into nice tidy boxes with bows on top. Our job is to grow and expand. To learn from our mistakes. To always move forward knowing that we are enough today even as our skills are refined and our understanding of who we are becomes greater.
 
My dear inner perfectionist,
Thank you for allowing me to see how much more growing I have to do. Thank you for always trying to protect me. Thank you for the lessons you have already taught me and will continue to teach me.
 
Now, shut your big mouth and get the hell out of my way!
 
with love,
Kelly